DOES THE HYMEN EXIST?
“It’s not enough to just say that the hymen doesn’t exist. If you say that, no one believes you! If I lost my virginity, I would only tell my best friend whom I trust 100 percent, no one else! If I told more people, rumors would start, and I would definitely be labeled as a whore.”
Is your family concerned about you being a virgin or "pure" when you get married? Do you have to prove this? Have you had sex with a boy and are afraid of it being discovered? Is your family worried that you are no longer a virgin?
The hymen, or vaginal corona as it is often called in Norway, is not a membrane but a soft tissue ring. It is a fold of mucous membrane that remains from the fetal stage. We don't really need it!
Women have a vaginal corona that varies in shape and appearance. The vaginal corona is highly elastic, and there is an opening into the vagina.
If it is true that the hymen doesn't exist, why do some people bleed?
It is common to feel both excitement and nervousness the first time you have sex. The vagina can become dry and develop small tears, which may cause some bleeding. Many people believe that this is proof of the existence of the hymen. It is not. There is no intact and closed hymen.
"I am getting married, and my family believes I am a virgin. What can I do?"
If you are concerned about reactions regarding virginity in your family, you can contact us at the Red Cross Helpline for advice. You can remain anonymous, and we have confidentiality. It is important to remember that the vaginal corona cannot prove a woman's virginity. No one can tell if you are a virgin or not, including healthcare professionals. The vaginal corona may already be stretched or torn, even if the woman is still a virgin.
If you need to "prove" your virginity to feel safe, it is possible to purchase blood capsules in stores or online. These contain fake blood often used for events like Halloween. Use these to simulate blood on the bedsheet after intercourse. You can hide the blood capsule under the pillow, the sheet, or in the bedside table.
It is not possible to sew the hymen closed to create the appearance of a vaginal corona. This is a drastic procedure in the genital area that is not medically advisable.
Facts about the hymen:
It is flexible and stretchable.
It is the narrowest point in the vagina.
It has the ability to expand or contract and can stretch to a certain extent.
Facts about sexual debut:
The vaginal corona stretches along with the rest of the vagina, and it is not certain that you will bleed at all.
Studies show that just under half of individuals bleed during voluntary sexual debut.
Whether or not bleeding occurs depends on arousal and the size of the penis.
It also depends on the shape of the vaginal corona. Is it shaped like an “ø”, “c” or “o”? If it is shaped like an "ø", it may tear in the middle and cause some bleeding.
If bleeding occurs, it may also be due to tears in the vaginal wall or on the penis. Some penises may have a tight foreskin that can tear during penetrative intercourse.
Bleeding can happen the first time or on multiple occasions. It may also never occur.
"When I attended a Christian high school, there was talk about how one should only engage in anal sex before marriage. It was seen as not real sex, so to speak." — Girl, 23