WHAT IS

EXTREME SOCIAL CONTROL?

«My family pressures me a lot. They constantly tell me how bad of a girl I am. If I misbehave, for example, if I’m seen with boys, they will send me abroad.»
— Girl, 17
 
 

Do your parents dictate your free time? Do they control your mobile phone and laptop? Do they decide what clothes you can wear? Is the control so extreme that it hinders you from having friends, doing homework, enjoy your hobbies, and rest?

It is normal for parents to set boundaries for their children as part of their upbringing. However, in some cases, parents may impose completely unreasonable restrictions. Some people may experience such strong control that it violates their rights according to the Convention on the Rights of the Child and Norwegian law.

Extreme social control refers to the supervision, pressure, threats, and coercion exerted to ensure that you live in accordance with your family or group's norms and values. This control is characterized by its systematic nature and may violate the individual's rights according to the Convention on the Rights of the Child and Norwegian law. 

The reason why your family subjects you to extreme social control can stem from concerns about facing gossip and rumors within their community. They may also worry about losing their social standing if their children do not behave "properly." This control can extend across borders, for example, exerted by relatives residing in other countries through social media.

 

Extreme social control can have severe psychological consequences. You may experience feelings of depression, hopelessness, and loneliness. Therefore, it is important to seek help and support.

The rights of every individual are protected by the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the Convention on the Rights of the Child, and Norwegian law. Below you will find a simplified version of the Children Act:

§31: From the age of 7, parents should listen to what the child has to say before making decisions for the child. The child's opinions should be given weight according to their age and maturity. From the age of 12, significant weight should be given to the child's views.

§32: From the age of 15, the child has the right to decide independently on their choice of education and to join or leave organizations and religious communities.

§33: As the child grows older, they should be given increasing responsibility and autonomy until they reach adulthood.

You can read more about your rights in the dropdown menu below.

You have rights

PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSEQUENCES OF EXTREME SOCIAL CONTROL

Extreme social control can have consequences for individuals’ emotional, physiological, cognitive, and social development. The consequences vary greatly from person to person, and it is possible to seek help in managing patterns and reactions that have emerged. If you identify with any of the following, reach out to someone you trust, such as a school nurse, minority advisors, or friends. Alternatively, you can call the anonymous Red Cross helpline.  

PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCES

  • Fatigue and exhaustion

  • Disrupted sleep patterns

  • Weakened immune system

EMOTIONAL

  • Fear or daily anxiety

  • Sadness and depression

COGNITIVE

  • Memory loss and forgetfullness

  • Decreased concentration and learning ability

SOCIAL

  • Loneliness and isolation

  • Low self-esteem

  • Feeling ashamed and guilty even when you have done nothing wrong

  • Difficulty setting boundaries with others and oneself